


In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

by Samsonet



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Gen, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 12:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21814408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samsonet/pseuds/Samsonet
Summary: Sonia was somebody, once. Maybe she'll be somebody now, too.
Relationships: Rurina | Nessa & Sonia, Sonia (Pokemon) & Dande | Leon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 126





	In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet 43, "How Do I Love Thee?"
> 
> This was written specifically for sylvansonia from tumblr dot com. We've never interacted, I just read a few of their posts and was like "this has to be written."
> 
> kahsfjdskfj I apologize if that's weird

Galar has one hero. Everyone knows this.

One hero, wielding the legendary sword and shield, saved the region from the Darkest Day.

One hero, rising above all others, gaining glory with every victory.

Everyone knows this. 

*

When Sonia was fifteen, she wandered into the Slumbering Weald.

She was lost. She was tired and cold and hungry. Leon was Champion, Nessa and Raihan were training to be gym leaders, and Sonia was —

Sonia was —

_nothing and nobody._

She was lost, that’s all.

*

Gloria twirls her hair the same way Sonia does. 

She holds herself the way Sonia does, like she’s not sure if she’s really allowed to be here, to be doing this.

She leans on Hop the way Sonia leaned on Leon, always walking two steps behind.

Sonia worries for them.

She watches the kids’ journey, in person when she can and on the league channels when she can’t.

Of course, the media picks up on how Hop and Gloria reflect Leon and his childhood rival — _what was her name again? Professor Magnolia’s granddaughter_ — oh, yeah, Sonia. They broadcast every parallel, from how long it takes them to reach the gyms to which moves they use in different situations.

One cruel Chattr account sets up a poll about how long it will take Gloria to drop out.

Sonia blocks them.

*

She and Leon used to be close.

They pretty much grow up together, sipping hot cocoa in Gran’s lab and talking about their futures. Leon has high hopes — he’s always had high hopes, especially for a nobody from a town the rest of the region forgot.

She calls him _Leo_ because she wants to give him a nickname and Hop’s the only one allowed to call him Lee. Leon calls her _Sunny_ in return.

They’re kids. They’re happy.

Then one day, Chairman Rose arrives.

Who knows what he saw in Leon? The story goes that Leon had something about his eyes, but if he _did_, wouldn’t Sonia have noticed it first?

Whatever the case, Leon holds onto the sponsorship letter with both hands. He rushes home to say goodbye to his family, and an hour later he’s at the station, leaving her behind.

Gran hands her a letter, too, because apparently the regional professor can do that. “He’s your friend, isn’t he? Then become the best rival you can be, to help him get stronger.”

Sonia runs after her friend.

It’s the first time she has to catch up to him. It won’t be the last.

They grow stronger together, for a while. But every time they fight, Leon wins.

They battle.

He wins.

They battle.

He wins.

They battle.

Sonia loses.

She loses to him.

She loses him.

Leon becomes the Champion. Sonia goes home. Suddenly they never have enough time to just hang out. They try battling for cups and exhibition matches, but the skill difference is so big that it’s no longer fun for either of them.

Leon remains in Wyndon. Sonia goes home.

She leaves voicemail messages, mostly things like how tall Hop has grown or how the weather is. He leaves his own messages in return.

Everything changes, but at the same time, it feels like nothing did.

*

Gran sends her to research the Darkest Day.

It’s an excuse to get her out of the house, probably. Sonia knows she’s been moping. She did the work to get her master’s degree, but even that doesn’t give her a sense of direction. It’s just something she does, because that’s the path her story takes.

Galar has one story. Galar has one hero.

When the people cheer, they’re yelling Leon’s name.

*

Opal says, “You had more correct answers than Leon did.”

It’s the first time since the beginning of the challenge that Sonia has actually done something better than Leon. She looks up at the gym leader, eyes wide.

“You obviously have talent,” Opal observes, “but you give up too easily. I suppose it must be hard being Professor Magnolia’s granddaughter, yes?”

“Haha… I guess…”

Opal laughs. “I wish you luck, child. Though with your skill, you might not need it.”

*

It’s pure luck that she’s there when the mural falls and reveals two statues.

Two statues.

The theory strikes like an arrow reaching a target. One hero — two youths — _history is written by the survivors_ — a sword and a shield — one hero — the Darkest Day — history can be covered up — _one hero_ — who knew about this? — who changed it? — why?

Galar has one hero.

Everyone knows this.

Right?

*

She meets Nessa at the opening ceremony, but it’s at Hulbury when they actually become friends.

“I know water-types like the back of my hand!” she boasts, spreading her arms wide. “This is my city, and I’m gonna shine in the gym battle!”

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m gonna win, too! My team is strong!” From Sonia’s arms, Yamper barks. He knows what he’s here for.

But Nessa laughs, trying to hide it behind her hand.

“What’s so funny?”

“If I can give you a word of advice? The gym leader’s got a Palpitoad. You need to figure out a way to beat ‘im without Yamper.”

Sonia bites her lip, considering.

She spends the rest of the day on the route back to Turffield, catching an Eldegoss.

When Sonia leaves the Stadium victorious, she finds Nessa and thanks her. “It was nice of you to tell me that. You could’ve just let me walk in there and lose.”

“I like you,” Nessa says, sticking out her hand. “If you wanna repay me, think about this: be my rival all the way to Wyndon!”

_Leon is already my rival._

But Sonia has two hands.

She reaches out and shakes Nessa’s.

“I accept, rival!”

*

_It doesn’t have to be like this,_ Sonia muses, back at the lab. She pictures the region as the outline of a hand, holding onto its story, holding onto its champion. _When it can be like_ this. _Galar has two heroes._

She snorts.

Her grandmother asks, “What’s so funny?”

Sonia finds she doesn’t quite have the words.

*

Sonia writes.

She writes everything. She writes like it’s all she knows how to do. She pours her heart on the page and backs it up with sixty pages of citations.

Her gran’s publisher picks up the book. Part of it is her name, probably, but Gran reminds her that academic presses are strict. If the research _wasn’t_ credible, they wouldn’t have accepted it no matter whose name was on the cover.

Sonia takes some pride in that.

*

When Sonia was fifteen, she wandered into the Slumbering Weald.

She was lost, but somehow she felt called farther up and further in. Farther up and further in. Farther up — and then she finds it.

It’s a crumbling ruin. That in itself isn’t strange; Galar is full of ruins, after all.

But this spot…

There’s power here. She can feel it.

The fog surrounds her.

She reaches out.

The fog whispers, _you are not the hero of this story._

*

“Hop and Gloria know what they’re doing with their lives,” Gran says. “You should be more like them.”

_Gran,_ Sonia wants to say, _They’re twelve. When I was twelve, I knew what I was doing with my life, too._

What she says is, “I’ve got time, don’t I? I’ll figure something out.”

*

Once, during a very sad off-season, Sonia and Raihan go on a date.

They spend the entire time talking about Leon.

She’s not sure what she expected.

*

When Sonia is seventeen, Nessa visits. She’s come out all the way to Wedgehurst, so it must be big news.

Sure enough, she doesn’t disappoint. Nessa grins, bright and beaming, and says, “It’s official! I’m a gym leader, Sunny!”

Oh. “That’s -- that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!”

Nessa’s quiet for a moment. Sonia guesses what she’s thinking: _You don’t have to pretend to be happy for me. It’s okay if you’re mad or sad or something that I’m moving forward and you aren’t._

But Nessa grins and says, “Why don’t I take you out for dinner? Come on, my treat!”

Maybe Sonia doesn’t know what her friends think, after all.

(They have a good time, regardless.)

*

When Sonia is twenty-one, she wanders into the Slumbering Weald again.

Ah, but she’s not wandering now, is she? She’s guiding a hero.

At the stone monument, Hop is waiting for his rival. One hero of Galar runs to meet the other. He welcomes her with open arms.

They have one final battle, not as gym challengers, not as _Sonia and Leon part two._ This time, they’re friends and rivals. This time, they’re legends. 

Gloria and Zacian strike.

Hop and Zamazenta defend.

And in the end…

“I want to become a Pokémon Professor,” Hop declares. Gloria nods enthusiastically, then hugs him. There’s no gap between them, now; they’re complementing parts, each with their own purpose.

When Leon appears, it’s all Sonia can do to keep from hugging him, too.

*

When Sonia is eleven, she enters Hulbury and is ambushed by a group of reporters.

“Sonia! As Leon’s rival, do you have any tips on how to defeat him?”

“Sonia! Are the rumors true that your grandmother is developing a new form of Dynamaxing?”

“Can you give a comment about why you retired from battling professionally?”

She hates this. She wants to scream.

Then the boy king himself appears. “What’re you all doing?”

Sonia gives him a helpless shrug. _Go away, Leo! Let me die of embarrassment in peace!_

But Leon doesn’t go away. Instead, he pushes into the crowd and stands between her and the others.

“You wanna bother her? Why don’t you battle me first!”

The reporters pause.

Leon doesn’t show any signs of joking.

The reporters back off.

Later, when they’ve lost the press and hidden on some rocks by the lighthouse, she asks, “Why’d you bother stepping in, Leo?”

_Why waste your time with me? Don’t you have a new, stronger rival now?_

“I dunno.” He kicks the air. “I guess… Since you don’t battle anymore… I feel like I gotta keep an eye out for you. I wanna help you.”

She gives a smile that she doesn’t feel. “You can’t always help people by winning battles, you know.”

Leon looks away.

*

One day, over a cup of tea, Hop says, “Y’know, I’ve been thinking.”

It’s his serious tone. Sonia sets aside her paperwork and gives him her full attention. “What is it?”

“If I’d been the one to become the champion,” Hop says, “I think I would’ve been miserable.”

“...oh?”

“I know it sounds weird, ‘cause that was my dream and all, but… if I became champion, everyone would still be thinking of me as Leon’s little brother. I’d still be trying to be like him… cool, strong, unbeatable… and I’d never figure out what I wanted for myself.”

That’s true: the media had enough of a field day with Hop as a challenger; as a champion, he would get it worse.

(In contrast, Gloria was cast as _everygirl rival_ and not _Leon 2.0_. Sonia wonders if that allowed her to keep a clear mind during everything.)

Sonia smiles. “Right. Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it. And the reverse: be thankful that you don’t always get what you want.”

Hop brightens. “Yeah. Now I’m doing what I want to do, and it’s really nice.”

*

When Sonia is fifteen, she wanders into the Slumbering Weald.

She’s lost, but she walks forward by intuition if not sight.

She can feel the power here. This is a place where legends begin. This is a place where heroes are made.

She wants it. She wants, she wants, she wants.

The fog surrounds her.

She stands as tall as she can, the nobody from nowhere, the forgotten rival. Is she worthy?

The fog whispers, _You are not the hero of this story._

“I can be! Let me, let me, please —!”

The fog whispers, _You are destined to wait here while others pass on before you._

She screams. She cries. She strikes with her bare fists — but of course, whatever she’s aiming for is out of reach.

The fog whispers, _Be strong, child. Your time has not yet come._

**Author's Note:**

> Sonia got a doctorate at however old she is but if you define value by winning battles her accomplishments don’t mean anything. and that makes me sad


End file.
